Translated Awkwardness

Social interactions seem very tricky to me. I find it harder these days to respond to the customary "kumusta?" But then again, perhaps it had always been quite hard for me. A wall erects within my mind, composed of 10 statements on the matter, all at once. Which one would I be best able to elucidate? Is it merely the fact that I don't have a ready answer to such a question? Perhaps. But it also may be because I lack a level of social graces that keep me afloat and keep me honest at the same time. Social interactions are a charade, to some extent. They keep things pleasant and organized between people but they sometimes become a sham, with no honesty. I don't prefer my state, where I leave a conversation hanging often for longer than I would like, but I can say I have no filters when it comes to such things. Conversations with me end the way they do because I have nothing more to say, and I can think of nothing appropriate to gently ease out of the interaction. How painful it is to be aware of this fact and then come back later in thought for something that would have been better to say or do.

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